We’re now entering week three of Quarantine in Italy. In other parts of the world governments are just starting to introduce similar measures. We’ve seen the toilet roll shortages and the last-order parties at pubs, but we now need to be prepared for a new wave of stupidness. The Quarantine Gurus.
Any day now, we’ll start seeing ads on Facebook by self-proclaimed isolation experts, who, after 24 hours of quarantine will have already written a manual and created a course you can buy. Be ready for titles such as;
- Make Government Enforced Quarantine the Best Days of YOUR Life
- How to Live Your Best Life in Self-Isolation
- Beat the Corona Blues with these Hot Tips (Only $199 while the Corona Virus lasts! Buy Now!)
- The Lockdown Lifestyle Guide – by self proclaimed Hinduism expert Todd Richardsmum (who spent a full week in India last year).
I’ve already seen a few articles with recommendations, written by people before they have even started quarantine. Here are a few examples and my opinion:
1. Guru: Take this time to declutter your shelves and wardrobe. Clear out all those clothes that you haven’t worn in a year. Get rid of all those books you have never read.
Rosie: This is the worst time to declutter. All the charity shops are closed, you can’t have a garage sale and there’s no point in trying to advertise items online as no one can come to your house, so where are you going to put all the stuff that you are going to bag and box? If you feel you have to do a clear out, maybe learn to make patchwork or rag rugs out of your wardrobe clutter, or just plan to re-wear them instead of buying new stuff? And don’t get rid of those books, you will be glad of them if the quarantine continues.
2. Guru: Catch up on all those DIY projects you have been putting off.
Rosie: DO NOT DO this. Do you want to add to your local hospital’s burden when you fall off a ladder and break your ribs or need stitches after using that saw you bought in Lidl three years ago which you have lost the instruction manual for? Stick to things that are not in anyway risky… like patchwork or rag rug making.
3. Guru: Turn Your Garage into a Home Gym
Rosie: Your garage is probably full of clutter. See number 1.
4. Guru: Categorise Your Digital Photos
Rosie: Yes I like this idea! I have photos dating back to 2012 I’ve never looked at since downloading them from my phone… I just need to figure out how to access iCloud or find the mystery folder is that photos seem to be sent to when I download them from my phone.
5. Guru: Journal Your Corona Quarantine Experience
Rosie: This I agree with. The days can blend into one, so keeping a diary, or journaling, helps put things into context as time goes on and it is a great form of self therapy.
However, I’ve seen some gurus suggest that your kids should journal about it. I’m not so sure about this. Do you really want to look back and read;
‘We played Monopoly AGAIN. I still can’t see my friends and Mam is loosing it as all her wine is gone. Dad is staring at the wall as there is no sport on the TV.’
Best not to remember all the details, just recap the nice ones when this is all over.