CHINA: Hi Guys, it\u2019s me China.<\/p>\n
USA, UK, EU: Oh, hi China how are things?<\/p>\n
China: Things are good\u2026 well actually, they\u2019re not really \u2026<\/p>\n
UK, USA, EU: Oh what\u2019s up?<\/p>\n
CHINA: Well a few weeks ago we were having a Christmas dinner party and \u2026 do you know Wuhan?<\/p>\n
USA: Wuhan? Yeah the one with the nice big buildings, but has that quirky little market with the cute animals, yeah we know her.<\/p>\n
CHINA: Yeah well Wuhan sees herself as a bit of chef, she\u2019s not good at it but we don\u2019t like to insult her, anyhow she brought over one of her experimental dishes and now a lot of people are really sick \u2026<\/p>\n
Rest of World: Oh no that\u2019s terrible. What did you say to Wuhan?<\/p>\n
CHINA: We\u2019ve locked her in her room and told her to think about what she has done.<\/p>\n
Rest of World: That\u2019s a bit extreme.<\/p>\n
CHINA: Yeah, but she\u2019s taking it well and staying quiet. Got to go, chat later.<\/p>\n
Rest of World: See ye China, tell Wuhan she\u2019s in our thoughts and prayers.<\/p>\n
CHINA: Will do, thanks, bye.<\/p>\n
USA: That\u2019s terrible about Wuhan isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
UK: Yeah. Anyway where are you thinking of going on vacation this year?<\/p>\n
USA: Oh we\u2019re going to Italy, we love Italy.<\/p>\n
UK and EU: Oh we\u2019re just back from a ski trip there it was great.<\/p>\n
ITALY: Hi guys! Just overheard your conversation, that\u2019s great you are coming over, we love having you all here. Although we don’t really like the big unhealthy cruise ships, which dump 3,000 people here in the morning who scurry and scurry back to the ship by 7pm. They don\u2019t stay in our hotels, don\u2019t eat at our good restaurants, or properly experience Italy and they just buy crap souvenirs made in China …<\/p>\n
CHINA: Hey I heard that!<\/p>\n
ITALY: Well the stuff you make is very production line isn\u2019t it? Not like our craftsmanship. But you know we love you China, you send us so many tourists too, you are the only one that goes into the fashion houses and actually buys all the weird cat walk stuff that Gucci makes.<\/p>\n
Rest of World: We thought you were gone China, to look after Wuhan?<\/p>\n
CHINA: Yeah, I did but I needed to come back online to tell all of you that it\u2019s not just the people who ate the food that are getting sick, it\u2019s anyone who has been near them, it\u2019s like a flu and it\u2019s spreading like wildfire, we\u2019ve locked everyone in their rooms. I\u2019ve really got a go now and build a massive hospital, catch up later bye.<\/p>\n
USA: Oh that sounds awful, really terrible, China, we\u2019ll send you over thoughts and prayers, that should help.<\/p>\n
UK: Is China gone off line now? \u2026 I think she\u2019s being a bit dramatic, I mean it is just a flu.<\/p>\n
ITALY: Guys, the top of my leg isn\u2019t looking too good. I think it may have an infection.<\/p>\n
EU: Oh that doesn\u2019t sound too good, you look after yourself.<\/p>\n
ITALY: Huh?<\/p>\n
EU: I mean it.<\/p>\n
THE NEXT DAY<\/p>\n
ITALY: Sorry, I know it\u2019s really early to be calling you all. But the top of my leg has got much worse, it\u2019s really infected, it\u2019s really, really bad. I\u2019m doing my best but I need more medical stuff. I\u2019ve been talking with China and she said things are improving there but the only cure is for everyone to stay home and away from each other for at least two weeks. So we\u2019re all going to go home, close our doors and make pasta. Is anyone there? Is anyone listening?<\/p>\n
US, UK: Yeah, yeah (yawn emoji), we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n
UK: Look Italy stop being so dramatic, it\u2019s just a flu. Between you and China, honestly! (eye roll emoji)<\/p>\n
ITALY: Guys, I think my leg might fall off, look at the pictures I\u2019m sending you. It\u2019s spreading so fast and it\u2019s spreading in your direction.<\/p>\n
US: Italy what\u2019s happening to you is tremendously terrible, I\u2019m putting some thoughts and prayers in an email now and sending them to you. I\u2019ll have a look in the medicine chest and send you some Band Aids if I find any … You will be okay by the Summer though won\u2019t you? Because I have a vacation booked and I would be so disappointed if I had to cancel. So hurry up and get well soon\u2026 so I can go on vacation.<\/p>\n
ITALY: Guys, you really need to wake up and prepare yourselves, you were here on ski trips weren\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
UK: Yes, yes, we and the USA, have a few people with the same flu you have ..<\/p>\n
USA: You mean the China Flu?<\/p>\n
Rest of World: huh? No it is called Covid-19. We didn’t blame you for the Spanish Flu did we?<\/p>\n
USA: The Spanish Flu was from Spain.<\/p>\n
Rest of World: No it wasn’t, it started in the USA you just named it the Spanish Flu.<\/p>\n
USA: Oh.<\/p>\n
UK: Look we\u2019re all in this find mess together, we’re all just going to have to catch it, take some paracetamol and tally-hoo.<\/p>\n
ITALY: huh?<\/p>\n
USA: Hey no, I have a better idea, I own this chemical that cleans fish tanks but is good for Malaria too so we should all take that.<\/p>\n
Rest of World: But this is not Malaria\u2026 or a \u2026fish \u2026 tank?<\/p>\n
ITALY: EU are you there?<\/p>\n
EU: zzzzzzz<\/p>\n
Italy: China are you there? I\u2019m sorry what I said about the things you make, and I know you are still suffering but could you send over \u2026<\/p>\n
China: Yes, yes, I\u2019m here. Sorry I wasn\u2019t talking much, I was busy packing up several planes full of stuff for you. Ventilators and doctors on the way now.<\/p>\n
UK, EU and USA: zzzzzzz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Short Online Play: ‘Covid\u201319: The Early Days’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2189,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[225,230],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-quarantine-diary","category-week-5-corona-virus-italy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2184"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2187,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2184\/revisions\/2187"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2189"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosiemeleady.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}